World Of Warcraft Trading Card Game: The Realm Qualifier Blues Part 2

Welcome to the second part of my recounting of the realm qualifier I took part in. Or “How Steve Gets Thrashed At Cards. Again.” Part 1 can be found here.

Second game was against the son of a fellow regular playgroup goer. Nice lad, up until I saw he was playing a Murloc Hunter deck. Then afterwards I wanted to stand on his neck. It’s not that I’m a sore loser, it’s just that the deck is so spectacularly fucking retarded and amazingly reliant on a couple of cards that it feels a little like being cheated when it works. It’s pretty much the anti-thesis of my deck.

The basic premise is simple: firstly, run a literal shit-tonne of Murloc Coastrunner. Seriously, like 40 of them. There’s only 60 cards in the bloody deck. Then 4 Poison Tipped and 4 Unleash the Swarm! There are prolly some other Murloc allies to pad it out. There is one more ability, which I’ll get to. If you can’t see the combo you put Poison Tipped out (because the Coastrunners are Rogues) and then wait for an Unleash the Swarm to show up. Because the deck is so loaded with the Coastrunners the chances of hitting 7 in a row are very high. What happens when you put 7 Murloc allies out with Poison Tipped out? You get your fuck kicked in is what. Then, fucking THEN, not only did he play 7 fucking Murlocs and put them into play, damaging me for 14, he played Rwlrwlrwlrwl! Look at it. GO ON. LOOK AT IT. It let him run all 7 of his Coastrunners into me for another 21. The deck is hilarious, but man it’s shit to lose t

Next game against a chap named Tino. I’m not sure if it’s his real name, but he was nice enough. He ran a deck which plays a card called Gift of the Earthmother and thusly the deck was named as such. I fucking hate this deck. It’s a blue Druid deck that essentially runs cheap allies and then uses Gift of the Earthmother to make them absolutely massive. The two key ones I remember are Rufus Claybourne  and Windspeaker Nuvu. Both are cheap as chips to play (resource wise) and both become stupid when you put something that makes them have +6 health and +6 attack on them. For example, on turn 3 you leave 2 of the resources ‘open’ (that is to say, ready to be used) and when the opponent ends their turn there is what’s called a priority window that can be used to play Rufus.

Normally allies cannot be played on an opponents turn, but if an ally has Instant printed next to the Ally word just under the artwork then it can. So at the end of the opponents turn you play Rufus, then at the start of the turn you ready all the resources and (hopefully, as long as you have it in hand) on turn 4 play Gift of the Earthmother.

Ferocity is usually the only way to get around the rule which states an ally can only attack if it has been in play since the beginning of your turn. Because Rufus came in at the end of the opponents turn, it’s been in play since the beginning of yours and now he has 8 attack and 8 health and starts pummelling the mighty piss out of you.

I can’t remember which he played first. I’m pretty sure it got to turn 5 and he put Windspeaker Nuvu into play, which essentially hits for 14 each turn. This is because of the “When this ally attacks for the first time each turn, ready him.” text. To clarify: at the start of a turn all cards are ‘ready’. When you attack with a card, or use a resource they becom ‘tapped’ to denote they have been used. Normally that’s the end of it and you can’t use them again, but Nuvu’s text means that the first time you tap and attack with him you can ready him and do the same again. Fucking mental.

My deck has no way of dealing with something that gets that big that quickly so it’s pretty much a forgone conclusion. I dunno if he tweaked it any but it worked pretty much like every other Gift of the Earthmother deck out there.

Final game was against organiser Tony, also running a Warlock. I don’t actually remember much about this game, to be honest. It was looking promising for me as I was on top of him most of the game but eventually he played Soul Swap (which is amazing and hideous) and then I think he used Summoning Portal to find something massive and killed me in the face. C’est la vie.

Part 3 of this series can be found here.

Author: moosegrinder

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  1. World Of Warcraft Trading Card Game: The Realm Qualifier Blues Part 1. | Caution: Small Parts - [...] Part 2 of this write up can be found here. [...]

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